Roller Coaster- Part of my life

Finally i told my father about the relationship...
very embarrassed...but it seem that is a must processes
different from previous
this time i told them face by face by myself but not through observation from parents
It is hard
A relationship really need effort, sacrify, understanding, tolerance and so on
I seldom take initiation in a relationship but different from this time
Not used to it
try to be nature as i am

It seems like a roller coaster...
sometime happy, sometime disappointed, sometime hesitation, sometime suspicious while sometime touching
Positive thinking...he is just a newbie..dont know how to show his love...
Possible thinking...i'm not the one he sure wants to protect the most in his life...

Let it be...
Time can prove to me
And i dare to accept whatever happen because this is part of life...
although i need to cry and hurt...
Dare to step forward
No rules that constraint me that i must do this and that in what time and where
Because i create my own life
Clear what is my 'bottom line'
Lesson will make me grow up
Try my best not to hurt anyone while growing up or coming to the end of my life...

Future

my future is full of mysterious
all are controlled and decided by myself
what i have done,
what i'm going to do,
what i thought,
it will change my future,
change my 'road',
change the scene,
change my heart...

Eventhough it is full of unknown elements,
but i should be brave,not afraid
make detail analysis and observations,
make clear my mind,
make a step,
enjoy the move,
enjoy the next step...

Babies...let us moving...
To a place where we can laugh together
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

convo

15 Aug 2009 2pm

my convo

first child in my family who get convo
honestly i have no feel on convo
but i know it brings something to my mum
so honestly
convo is just a ceremony for me,
really just a ceremony
because i know what is my role before this ceremony

:)
To declare
This convo is for my mum
as a thanks for my family especially who worried me the most,mum
bring her to a place where she has never been,never take flight to go
SMILE kica...
a photo capture will be a great gift for her and my family

so what im going to do during the convo is dedicated for my family...
This is my goal

Thanks...

bro,sorry for not bring you go

Gonna to meet my 3 years old friends
I wont be sad because i know we will meet some days
World is so small
i believe it

forgiveness

the game ended
i know the real result

make me crazy
make me angry as well

luckily
im so generous
forgiveness come behind me

you are important to me

initiative change the core
change everything
luckily i did

To conclusion, girls are easily get deal with naturally ...i cnt deny it

crying

will the phone ringing if i cry
nope

can i think any reason to cover all
nope it is so obvious
none of the reasons given as well
so sarcastic

deceiving myself???
i hope no

this is a true game
a game accidentaly created
make clear something
interprete something
my status in a mysterious deep place
so shallow

will you want to take the first initiative step?
i start panic and coward
worrying
disappointing